Sarah and I at the Winter Banquet! She is gorgeous!!
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Wednesday, February 8, 2006
God's Design For Marriage
Marriages in America are decaying. You hear similar phrases like this from people of all walks of life. These statements do not lack truth, but more importantly we must realize that statements such as these imply that there is an ideal by which we judge a marriage healthy or unhealthy. That logically leads us to the question, “What is an ideal marriage?” Even though it is obvious when one marriage is healthier than another, we must still seek to understand what the ideal marriage is so that we can strive to personally maintain a healthy marriage and also be able to offer unchanging principles that can transform the ugly marriage into one of beauty.
God is the One who designed marriage. “We might say that marriage was God’s idea for the human race” (Ryken, 538). God created the earth, the plants, animal, and also man. Man is unique to creation and his uniqueness was first experienced when there was no helper fit for Adam. God is the One who said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). God pronounced the first marriage union in history (538). Thus, an appreciation and respect of God’s institution is a principle we must honor with our minds and our lives. Honoring marriage is honoring God’s creative work.
Closely related to the institution of marriage is the foundational purpose of marriage. God said that it was not good for man to be alone so he made a helper fit for him. By His words God declared that the reason marriage is necessary is because man is not a complete creature without an intimate companion. Even in a perfect world with unhindered fellowship with God Adam still lacked companionship! Companionship therefore is essential to our nature as created human beings. The need for companionship is fulfilled in different ways: friendships, parents, brothers and sisters. But companionship is exclusive in the context of the intimate companionship of marriage. The intimacy is so deep in the unique marriage bond that the Bible declares that two persons become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). This intimacy demands that the closest relationship a man should have with another human being is his/her spouse. So, the purpose of marriage is to fulfill man’s need for companionship. We must acknowledge this by ridding ourselves of an overly independent “I don’t need anyone else” attitude and openly admit our created need for companionship.
It is essential to understand that God patterned the marriage relationship after the kind of relationship he has with his people. This truth is repeated in both the Old and New Covenant. This truth is what enables us to understand the reason for exclusivity in marriage. God is jealous for his people and expects complete faithfulness from them. The first commandment states, “I am the Lord your God…you shall have no other gods besides me” (Exod 20:2-3). Since God likens himself to a husband and his people to a bride we can infer that the first commandment of the marriage relationship is, “I am your husband, you shall have no other husbands but me!”
Since that is true then sex is also exclusive to the marriage relationship. Marriage companionship is far deeper than friendship alone it also involves “romantic passion” (Ryken, 538). Sexual union fuses two souls into one physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Scripture addresses this union from both a positive and negative aspect. Genesis describes the two becoming one flesh and Paul in his letter to the Corinthians expounds on that same truth. He explained that a Christian who unites himself with a prostitute has become one flesh with her (1 Cor. 6:16). Since sex creates such a deep union it is logical to understand that we don’t want to be united to anything that is not of God.
Another principle of the ideal marriage is that of a covenant. Again, this idea comes directly from the same type of relationship God has with his people. God gave Moses the Old Covenant. By a covenant God promised to Abraham that he would bless the entire world through him (etc.). Jesus’ sacrifice instituted the New Covenant and in that covenant he promised that he would never leave nor forsake those who obey him. A covenant is a promise of commitment and faithfulness. When the Israelites were about to enter the Promised Land Moses implored them, “Love the Lord your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always” (Deut. 11:1 emphasis mine). Hosea was a living parable for Israel because he symbolized God’s faithfulness to his people. After Israel had broken the covenant they had made with God, He was still faithful. God assumed the image of a cheated husband and said to Israel, “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion” (Hos. 2:19) and God said this after his people had committed adultery. A covenant is permanent. Thus God expects marriages to be “till death do us part.” Micah directly stated that marriage was a covenant when he told the people that their prayers weren’t answered because, “You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant” (Mic. 2:14). God expects that both husband and wife commit themselves to each other for life; therefore he hates divorce (Mic. 2:16)!
God’s command of husband and wife is to be productive. This means bringing forth children. God wanted his creation to be full of his creatures and he gave man the amazing privilege of joining him in his work.
The family unit was meant to function as a “little church” (Thomas). The roles and responsibilities of the husband and wife are different but this difference is what brings out the most complete image of God known to humanity. Just as Christ is the head of the church the husband is the head of the wife and just as Jesus loved the church so much that he gave his life for her the man should love his wife in that same manner (Eph. 5:23-25). Just as God wants love, respect, and obedience from his people a man wants the same from his wife. Likewise just as the people of God need his sacrificial love so a wife also needs sacrificial love from her husband.
These principles must be understood in order to give proper counsel to those who are married so they can work toward an objective and ideal goal that actually works because it is God’s design for marriage. In a nutshell marriage is, “a personal-sexual-spiritual companionship ordained and instituted by God” (Buttrick, 286).
Bibliography:
Buttrick, George Arthur. The Interpreter’s Dictionary of the Bible. 5 vols. Nashville: Abingdon
Press, 1962.
Ryken, Leland and James C. Wilhoit and Tremper Longman III. Dictionary of Biblical Imagery.
Downers Grove: Intervarsity Press, 1998.
Strong, James. The Strongest Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Grand Rapids:
Zondervan, 2001.
The Revell Bible Dictionary. New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1984.
Thomas, Gary. “A Marriage After God’s Own Heart.” Discipleship Journal July/August 2004:
24:4.
Wright, H. Norman. The Pillars of Marriage. Glendale: Regal Books, 1980.
God is the One who designed marriage. “We might say that marriage was God’s idea for the human race” (Ryken, 538). God created the earth, the plants, animal, and also man. Man is unique to creation and his uniqueness was first experienced when there was no helper fit for Adam. God is the One who said, “It is not good for man to be alone” (Gen. 2:18). God pronounced the first marriage union in history (538). Thus, an appreciation and respect of God’s institution is a principle we must honor with our minds and our lives. Honoring marriage is honoring God’s creative work.
Closely related to the institution of marriage is the foundational purpose of marriage. God said that it was not good for man to be alone so he made a helper fit for him. By His words God declared that the reason marriage is necessary is because man is not a complete creature without an intimate companion. Even in a perfect world with unhindered fellowship with God Adam still lacked companionship! Companionship therefore is essential to our nature as created human beings. The need for companionship is fulfilled in different ways: friendships, parents, brothers and sisters. But companionship is exclusive in the context of the intimate companionship of marriage. The intimacy is so deep in the unique marriage bond that the Bible declares that two persons become one flesh (Gen. 2:24). This intimacy demands that the closest relationship a man should have with another human being is his/her spouse. So, the purpose of marriage is to fulfill man’s need for companionship. We must acknowledge this by ridding ourselves of an overly independent “I don’t need anyone else” attitude and openly admit our created need for companionship.
It is essential to understand that God patterned the marriage relationship after the kind of relationship he has with his people. This truth is repeated in both the Old and New Covenant. This truth is what enables us to understand the reason for exclusivity in marriage. God is jealous for his people and expects complete faithfulness from them. The first commandment states, “I am the Lord your God…you shall have no other gods besides me” (Exod 20:2-3). Since God likens himself to a husband and his people to a bride we can infer that the first commandment of the marriage relationship is, “I am your husband, you shall have no other husbands but me!”
Since that is true then sex is also exclusive to the marriage relationship. Marriage companionship is far deeper than friendship alone it also involves “romantic passion” (Ryken, 538). Sexual union fuses two souls into one physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Scripture addresses this union from both a positive and negative aspect. Genesis describes the two becoming one flesh and Paul in his letter to the Corinthians expounds on that same truth. He explained that a Christian who unites himself with a prostitute has become one flesh with her (1 Cor. 6:16). Since sex creates such a deep union it is logical to understand that we don’t want to be united to anything that is not of God.
Another principle of the ideal marriage is that of a covenant. Again, this idea comes directly from the same type of relationship God has with his people. God gave Moses the Old Covenant. By a covenant God promised to Abraham that he would bless the entire world through him (etc.). Jesus’ sacrifice instituted the New Covenant and in that covenant he promised that he would never leave nor forsake those who obey him. A covenant is a promise of commitment and faithfulness. When the Israelites were about to enter the Promised Land Moses implored them, “Love the Lord your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always” (Deut. 11:1 emphasis mine). Hosea was a living parable for Israel because he symbolized God’s faithfulness to his people. After Israel had broken the covenant they had made with God, He was still faithful. God assumed the image of a cheated husband and said to Israel, “I will betroth you to me forever; I will betroth you in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion” (Hos. 2:19) and God said this after his people had committed adultery. A covenant is permanent. Thus God expects marriages to be “till death do us part.” Micah directly stated that marriage was a covenant when he told the people that their prayers weren’t answered because, “You have been unfaithful to her, though she is your partner, the wife of your marriage covenant” (Mic. 2:14). God expects that both husband and wife commit themselves to each other for life; therefore he hates divorce (Mic. 2:16)!
God’s command of husband and wife is to be productive. This means bringing forth children. God wanted his creation to be full of his creatures and he gave man the amazing privilege of joining him in his work.
The family unit was meant to function as a “little church” (Thomas). The roles and responsibilities of the husband and wife are different but this difference is what brings out the most complete image of God known to humanity. Just as Christ is the head of the church the husband is the head of the wife and just as Jesus loved the church so much that he gave his life for her the man should love his wife in that same manner (Eph. 5:23-25). Just as God wants love, respect, and obedience from his people a man wants the same from his wife. Likewise just as the people of God need his sacrificial love so a wife also needs sacrificial love from her husband.
These principles must be understood in order to give proper counsel to those who are married so they can work toward an objective and ideal goal that actually works because it is God’s design for marriage. In a nutshell marriage is, “a personal-sexual-spiritual companionship ordained and instituted by God” (Buttrick, 286).
Bibliography:
Buttrick, George Arthur. The Interpreter’s Dictionary of the Bible. 5 vols. Nashville: Abingdon
Press, 1962.
Ryken, Leland and James C. Wilhoit and Tremper Longman III. Dictionary of Biblical Imagery.
Downers Grove: Intervarsity Press, 1998.
Strong, James. The Strongest Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance of the Bible. Grand Rapids:
Zondervan, 2001.
The Revell Bible Dictionary. New Jersey: Fleming H. Revell Company, 1984.
Thomas, Gary. “A Marriage After God’s Own Heart.” Discipleship Journal July/August 2004:
24:4.
Wright, H. Norman. The Pillars of Marriage. Glendale: Regal Books, 1980.
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